When I started ministry at a Japanese church a little over a year ago—fresh out of language school—I carried more than just my luggage into that first church placement. I brought expectations. Mostly my own.
I had served in full-time ministry in Germany; now I felt I was ready to earn my place in this church. To prove that I was useful and a “good missionary,” I pushed myself hard. Too hard. And slowly my mental health began to crumble.
Everything felt foreign. I couldn’t read the room, let alone the expectations. I put so much pressure on myself to “do well” that I broke under it. I felt out of place; like I had nothing to offer.
Then a retired missionary from Germany who had served at the church before came to visit. We spent a lot of time together, and at one point she said: “If all you do these two years is learn, you’ll have won more than you know.” That lifted a weight I didn’t realize I was putting on myself.
Her words gave me permission to stop performing and start learning. I embraced the role of student—asking questions about culture, church, relationships, expectations. I gave myself space to make mistakes, and to grow from them. To my surprise, people in my church appreciated that I wanted to understand.
OMF calls the first two years after language school a “training designation.” At some point, I began taking that term seriously—not just as a label, but as a mindset. I stopped trying to act like a seasoned worker and started embracing what it meant to be a new missionary: open, curious, and willing to learn.
At OMF, we talk about being lifelong learners. It sounds noble, but it’s hard. It means laying down your pride, admitting you don’t know, and staying teachable—just like Jesus’ disciples, who followed him with more questions than answers.
Ministry is still hard. Some days bring discouragement or depression. But I’m beginning to see: learning is ministry. God is forming me—not in spite of the struggles, but through them.
As James 1:4 says, “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete” (NIV).
I’m learning. Slowly. Sometimes painfully. But God is in it. And that makes all the difference.
