By Katelyn*
I will never forget the image of the two men before me that night, one on his knees sobbing before the other. Little did I realize the gravity of the situation that was unfolding before me and how it would deepen my understanding of the transformative power of the gospel.
In the West, a God-story is often seen as a miraculous healing, release from demonic possession, or unexpected financial provision. Like the people of Jesus’ day, we marvel at physical miracles, but often underestimate the significance of heart transformations. When Jesus healed the sick, their faith and repentance were the true miracles. The Father’s great plan has always been not only to deliver us from discomfort and sickness, but to bring restoration, transferring us back into his kingdom (Col. 1:13-14). The more I see of human nature, the more I realize how miraculous it is that God can change our hearts.
One distinguishing characteristic in the culture where I live is people’s fierce loyalty. But this often backfires, causing deep hurt, feelings of betrayal, and socially ruinous grudges. Forgiveness in this context is complex. Since openly addressing someone’s wrong is too shameful, conflict is avoided at all costs. A common response is to sweep the issue under the rug. While time can cause the pain to pass and, in rare occasions, friendships to pick up again, trust is gone. The fear of losing face causes hidden tension that infiltrates all aspects of society from government control down to torn apart families.
I know a senior pastor who had been sent out by a local fellowship to start a new church. He and his team of elders had been going through leadership training with my team leader. A younger elder and his wife from a different province also felt led to support this new endeavour and with their young family had relocated to help. Unfortunately, the senior pastor and younger elder had a misunderstanding so severe that the younger elder was ready to take his family and return to their home province.
One evening, shortly after this disagreement, I joined a leadership meeting with this church. My team leader led a devotion on unity, and he invited us to respond. The senior pastor was the first to speak. Despite being senior in both age and position, he began to apologize for how his actions had poorly communicated his intentions and had come across in a hurtful way to the younger elder.
The young man was deeply touched by this and responded with his own apology for jumping to conclusions. Before I knew it, he left his chair and was kneeling in front of the pastor in tears as they both assured one another of forgiveness.
Later, I learned that the older pastor had not actually done anything wrong, but his actions were misinterpreted to such an extent that the young elder was deeply hurt. A typical human response would have demanded that the younger elder apologize first for making unfair accusations, but that would have only reinforced the barriers between them.
The lead pastor understood what Jesus meant when he taught about servant leadership. The Spirit of Christ had so transformed him that he was willing to take the first step towards reconciliation even if it meant losing face. The younger elder also humbled himself in a counter-cultural way. He could have received the apology with dignity, since weakness is shameful, but the work of the Spirit had transformed his heart as well and he could not hide his own mistakes before God and others. That day, I witnessed what I might deem the greatest miracle – forgiveness.
Katelyn served short term with OMF in Southeast Asia in 2019. She now works in a creative access nation as an ESL teacher with a church planting team. She is passionate about discipling young believers and equipping the local church to grow in health and maturity as they come to know Christ and make him known.
* Full name withheld for security reasons.
